THE EXCELLENCE OF MARRIAGE
Arthur W. Pink (1886-1952)
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and
adulterers God will judge”
—Hebrews
13:4.
As
God hath knit the bones and sinews
together for the strengthening of our bodies, so He has ordained the joining of
man and woman together in wedlock for the strengthening of their lives, for “two
are better than one” (Ecc 4:9). Therefore, when God made the woman for the man,
He said, “I will make him a help meet for him” (Gen 2:18), showing that man is
advantaged by having a wife. That such does not actually prove to be the case in
all instances is, for the most part at least, to be attributed unto departure
from the Divine precepts thereon. As this is a subject of such vital moment, we
deem it expedient to present a fairly comprehensive outline of the teaching of
Holy Writ upon it, especially for the benefit of our young readers, though we
trust we shall be enabled to include that which will be helpful to older ones
too.
It is perhaps a trite
remark, yet nonetheless weighty for having
been uttered so often, that with the one exception of personal conversion,
marriage is the most momentous of all
earthly events in the life of a man or woman.
It forms a bond of union that binds them until death. It brings them into such
intimate relations that they must either sweeten or embitter each other’s
existence. It entails circumstances and consequences that are not less far
reaching than the endless ages of eternity. How essential it is then that we
should have the blessing of Heaven upon such a solemn yet precious undertaking;
and in order to this, how absolutely necessary it is that we be subject to God
and to His Word thereon. Far, far better to remain single unto the end of our
days, than to enter into the marriage state without the Divine benediction upon
it.
The records of history
and the facts of observation bear abundant testimony to the truth of that
remark. Even those who look no further than the temporal happiness of
individuals and the welfare of existing society are not insensible to the great
importance of our domestic relations, which the strongest affections of nature
secure, and which even our wants and weaknesses cement. We can form no
conception of social virtue or felicity, yea, no conception of human society
itself, which has not its foundation in the family. No matter how excellent the
constitution and laws of a country may be, or how vast its resources and
prosperity, there is no sure basis for social order or public as well as private
virtue, until it be laid in the wise regulation of its families.
After all, a nation is
but the aggregate of its families, and unless there be good husbands and wives,
fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, there cannot possibly be good citizens.
Therefore, the present decay of home life and family discipline threaten the
stability of our nation today far more severely than does any foreign hostility.
But the Scriptural view of the relative duties of the members of a Christian
household portrays the prevailing effects in a most alarming manner, as being
dishonoring to God, disastrous to the spiritual condition of the churches, and
as raising up a most serious obstacle in the way of evangelical progress. Sad
beyond words is it to see that professing Christians are themselves largely
responsible for the lowering of marital standards, the general disregard of
domestic relations, and the rapid disappearance of family discipline.
As, then, marriage is the
basis of the home or family, it is incumbent on the writer to summon his
readers to a serious and prayerful consideration of the revealed will of God on
this vital theme. Though we can hardly hope to arrest the awful disease that is
now
eating out the very vitals of our nation, yet if God is pleased to bless this
article to a few individuals, our labor will not be in vain. We will begin by
pointing out the excellency of wedlock: “Marriage is honourable,” says our text,
and it is so first of all because God Himself has placed special honor upon it.
All other ordinances or institutions (except the
Sabbath) were appointed of God by the medium of men or angels (Act 7:35), but
marriage was ordained immediately by the Lord Himself—no man or angel brought
the first wife to her husband (Gen 2:19).
Thus, marriage had more
Divine honor put upon it than had all the other Divine institutions because it
was directly solemnized by God Himself. Again, this was the first ordinance God
instituted, yea, the first thing He did after man and woman were created, and
that, while they were still in their unfallen state. Moreover, the place where
their marriage occurred shows the honorableness of this institution: whereas all
other institutions (save the Sabbath) were instituted outside of paradise,
marriage was solemnized in Eden itself!—intimating how happy they are that marry
in the Lord.
“God’s crowning creative act was the making of woman. At the close of each
creative day, it is formally recorded that God saw what He had made, that it was
good (Gen 1:31). But when Adam was made, it is explicitly recorded that God saw
it was not good that the man should be alone (Gen 2:18). As to man, the creative
work lacked completeness, until, as all animals and even plants had their mates,
there should be found for Adam also a help,
meet for him—his counterpart and companion. Not until this want was met did God
see the work of the last creative day also to be good. “This is the first great
Scripture lesson on family life, and it should be well learned…The Divine
institution of marriage teaches that the ideal state of both man and woman is
not in separation but in union, that each is meant and fitted for the other.
God’s ideal is such union, based on a pure and holy love, enduring for life,
exclusive of all rivalry or other partnership, and incapable of alienation or
unfaithfulness because it is a union in the Lord—a holy
wedlock of soul and spirit in mutual sympathy and affection.”
As God the Father honored the institution of marriage, so also did God the Son.
First, by His being “born of a woman” (Gal 4:4). Second, by His miracles, for
the first supernatural sign that He wrought was at the marriage of Cana in
Galilee (Joh 2:8), where He turned the water into wine, thereby intimating that
if Christ be present at your wedding (i.e., if you “marry in the Lord”) your
life shall be a joyous or blessed one. Third, by His parables, for He compared
the kingdom of God unto a marriage (Mat 22:2) and holiness to a “wedding
garment” (Mat 22:11). So also in His teaching: when the Pharisees sought to
ensnare Him on the subject of divorce, He set His imprimatur on the original
constitution, adding “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put
asunder” (Mat
19:4–6).
The institution of marriage has been still further honored by the Holy Spirit:
For He has used it10 as a figure of the union which exists between Christ and
the church: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall
be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great
mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Eph 5:31, 32). The
relation, which obtains between the Redeemer and the redeemed, is likened again
and again unto that which exists between a wedded man and woman: Christ is the
“Husband” (Isa 54:5), the church is the “Wife” (Rev 21:9). “Turn, O backsliding
children, saith the Lord, for I am married unto you” (Jer 3:14). Thus, each
person of the blessed Trinity has set His seal upon the honorableness of the
marriage
state. There is no doubt that in true marriage, each party helps the other
equally; and in view of what has been pointed out above, any who venture to hold
or teach any other doctrine or philosophy join issue with the Most High. This
does not lay down a hard and fast rule that every man and woman is obliged to
enter into matrimony: there may be
good and wise reasons for abiding alone [and] adequate motives for remaining in
the single state—physical and moral, domestic and social.
Nevertheless, a single
life should be regarded as…exceptional, rather than ideal. Any
teaching that leads men and women to think of the marriage bond as the sign of
bondage and the sacrifice of all independence [or] to construe wifehood and
motherhood as drudgery11 and interference with woman’s higher destiny, any
public sentiment [that cultivates] celibacy as more desirable and honorable or
[that substitutes]
anything else for marriage and home not only invades God’s ordinance, but opens
the door to nameless crimes and threatens the very foundations of society.
NOW IT IS CLEAR THAT MARRIAGE MUST HAVE PARTICULAR REASONS FOR THE
APPOINTMENT OF IT.
Three are given in Scripture:
First, for the propagation of children: This is its obvious and normal
purpose. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he
him; male and female created he them” (Gen 1:27)—not both males or both females,
but one male and one female. To make the design of this unmistakably plain, God
said, “Be fruitful and multiply” (1:28). For this reason, marriage is called
“matrimony,” which signifies motherage because it results in virgins becoming
mothers. Therefore, it is desirable that marriage be entered into at an early
age, before the prime of life be passed: twice in Scripture we read of “the wife
of thy youth” (Pro 5:18; Mal 2:15). We have pointed out that the propagation of
children is the “normal” end of marriage; yet there are special seasons of acute
“distress” when 1 Corinthians 7:29 holds good.
Second, marriage is designed as a preventive of immorality: “Nevertheless, to
avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her
own husband” (1Co 7:2). If any were exempted, it might be supposed that kings
would be given dispensation because of the lack of a successor to the throne
should his wife
be barren; yet the king is expressly forbidden a plurality of wives (Deu 17:17),
showing that the endangering of a monarchy is not sufficient to countervail14
the sin of adultery. For this cause, a whore is termed a “strange woman”
|